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In a room full of people, you tend to…
• Blend in and stay quiet, even when you want to speak.
• Watch everything carefully, deciding who feels emotionally safe.
• Step up and handle things so no one else has to.
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What do you most long to hear?
• You don’t have to stay small to be loved.
• You’re not too much. I can handle all of you.
• You’ve done enough. You can rest now.
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'Oops! something went wrong.',
When someone compliments you, you…
• Downplay it or make a joke.
• Feel unsure whether it’s genuine or conditional.
• Feel awkward unless you really 'earned' it.
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Growing up, you learned…
• It’s safer not to need much.
• It’s risky to get close—people might disappear.
• You’re responsible for other people’s stability.
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In conflict, you usually…
• Stay agreeable or go silent to avoid tension.
• Detach emotionally to stay in control.
• Take the blame just to end the discomfort.
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When you rest, it feels…
• Hard—I always feel like I should be doing more.
• Unfamiliar—stillness makes me anxious.
• Guilty—others still need me, so I shouldn’t stop.
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When overwhelmed emotionally, you tend to…
• Numb out or stay quiet.
• Push through with logic and problem-solving.
• Smile and act fine, even if you’re unraveling inside.
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What makes you feel safest with someone?
• When they notice what I don’t say aloud.
• When they stay consistent, even when I’m upset.
• When they don’t expect me to be strong all the time.
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When you start to cry, it’s often because…
• I feel invisible or unimportant.
• I’m afraid I’ve messed everything up.
• I’m carrying too much for too many.
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What you secretly long for is…
• To be fully seen and still loved.
• To stop performing and feel accepted anyway.
• To finally let go and be supported.
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How do you handle emotional pain?
• Hide it and try to stay pleasant.
• Analyze it and try to fix it quietly.
• Carry it without asking for help.
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Which phrase feels most true right now?
• I’m so tired of not being seen.
• I wish someone would stay, even when I struggle.
• I need a break from holding everyone else together.
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When you're in a new relationship…
• I worry about being too needy.
• I struggle to trust it’ll last.
• I over-function just to keep the peace.
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How do you respond when someone asks how you’re really doing?
• I say 'I’m fine,' even if I’m not.
• I hesitate—do they really want to know?
• I switch the subject to their needs instead.
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What happens when someone disappoints you?
• I stay silent and withdraw.
• I try to figure out what I did wrong.
• I excuse their behavior and keep supporting them.
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What does emotional safety mean to you?
• Being allowed to feel and still be loved.
• Not being judged for being intense or messy.
• Not having to hold it all together alone.
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How do you act when you’re hurting?
• I disappear or become extra quiet.
• I stay calm and capable, even when I’m breaking.
• I take care of everyone else instead.
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When someone asks what you need, you…
• Struggle to answer—I don’t know anymore.
• Downplay it—I don’t want to be a burden.
• Change the topic—I don’t want to seem selfish.
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What’s your inner voice often whispering?
• Don’t need too much.
• You’ll mess this up.
• You have to stay strong for them.
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What kind of healing do you most crave?
• To be chosen even when I’m quiet.
• To trust that love won’t abandon me.
• To stop being the strong one all the time.
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